Well, all the listening I did on this moon predicted the intensity that we’ve all been feeling under this full moon eclipse.
There is this hugely transformative conversation going on with the more obsessive, harsh, critical (Saturn in Capricorn) aspects of the subconscious vs the parts of us that just want to be loved/loving and nurtured or nuturing, & how much this is covered up by our older & deeper wounds (Pluto in the south node of the Moon).
Am I obsessive and controlling in order to accomplish what needs to be done? Do I have to look like I’ve got it all figured out or have I learned to soften and ask for help when it’s needed? Am I ok with showing those closest to me that I need their loving hugs and that it hurts when I feel I’m not getting my softer or emotional needs met…Am I going to keep soldiering on under an old pretence that I’ve got it all sorted & that I don’t really need my emotional needs to be met in order to be happy.
That’s part of what I feel this astrological conversation is asking us…So it was always going to get karmic and deeply so..
The best advice I received & that I was able to practice, was of course from Sarah Vrba, who wisely suggested to make the most of this opposition, we need not hide in the shadow cast by this eclipse, but instead allow some airtime to the aspects of ourselves that run that self sufficient, army boot camp of the soul, most likely illuminated under the light of this full moon.
Given the intensity of the content I have to say that it’s been truly uncomfortable ! And like all boot camp experiences we can all laugh afterwards!
Through taking Sarah’s advice, what has been set in motion, is a process that I can already see bringing far reaching tangible results for my personal relationships & my career.
That stern Saturnian / Capricornian voice – the one that is harsh and obsessive, when I don’t get things right or make a mistake in my relationships – I realised when I listened to it, is not actually mine.. that’s not my voice, that’s Saturn in Capricorn! And Pluto revealed – as it has been for the past 9 years (that’s how long it’s been sitting in the south node of the moon) – the wounds driving that inner critic.
I realised that I am just as much Venus in Cancer as I am Saturn in Capricorn & that I’ve spent way more time identifying with the latter…& given that I’m ultimately neither…I’m totally allowed to choose, & use, either energies, as needed.
I’ve spent more time obsessing & being hard on myself over what I didn’t get right, rather than just hugging it out with my loved ones! But hey, when you’re still healing a wound, hugging can be really scary.
So although it’s been truly uncomfortable & at times bewildering to observe and feel through, I believe this kind of discomfort is the edge upon which our conscious awareness is refined & sharpened, for the greater good of everyone! And in the process I’m learning so much about the planets and their energies, which is such an incredible bonus! I’ve learned that they are real entities, & just like the planet earth, they deeply impact our lives & as such, it’s important to honour & show them respect.
Words ~ Sonia Lloyd